promised to give a happy post.

but sorry..

these few days veri busy...

no time to blogg..

and the happy mood juz fades and dissolves into nothing.

so reality catches up.

appeciates all efforts to make mi feel optimistic.

but reality juz dun permit.

maybe diff ppl have diff views diff perosnalities.

i view my life as a no-more-hope case.

i just hate my life now.

aiming to get past every day aimlessly.

it's so meaningless and tiring.

u will see mi the happiest on sat.

sun night i will be in a bad mood.

and mon to fri i'm be emotionless or towards negative side.


i'm happy to see all my friends settled happily in their new schools new classes new lifes.

really i am..

but it's just sometimes i look at them and look at myself...

i wonder why am i the only odd one out..

these days having some probs with my family too.

i noe there's something wrong with mi too..

something about mi tat people detest.

i dun dare to go bother other ppl anymore..

even sometimes i wan to reply sms wen ppl ask mi how i'm doing...

i will take so long to reply tat i gan cui dun rep.

i've bugged ppl too much..

so much tat even i myself feel tat i'm too bothersome if i say anything more.

it's the same old thing.

and i dun think i can handle or solve.

but other ppl can't help mi for longg.

they can hear mi out.

they can hold mi cry.

but they have their own life.

their own circle.

their own activities.

their own new friends.

it's not for long i know i'll be on my own once more.

it will be tougher than now.

and i fear when it will cum.


maybe it's my attitude now.

it has changed.

i pon classes now.

i pon ccas now.

i never do my tutorials.

i zzz in lectures.

i sulk.

i run off.

blahx blahx.

i hate the me now.

but i can't help it but act this way.

my mind filled with so much things.

i'm so tired mentally and physically.

school and home.

place a weight on mi so heavy tat i dun thnk i can carry anymore.

i wan to find something to spur mi up again.

to make mi feel alive once more.

to see hope.

but tat's like finding needle in haystack.

i dun dare to open up.

i dunno why.

maybe i have lost trust in freindship.

lost trust in my own judgement.

lost trust in my self.

lost trust in my world.